There are days that stay with you for all the wrong reasons. Recently, while out enjoying what should have been a normal day, I was verbally attacked by strangers about my weight and appearance — not once, but four separate times.
Each moment caught me off guard, and each one chipped away at me a little more.
I’m sadly used to comments online, and occasionally in person, but something about that day hit differently. I found myself thinking, what gives them the right? And before I even realised it, my mind shifted from questioning their behaviour to blaming myself. I wondered if it was my clothes, if I smiled too much, if I looked too confident. It’s frightening how quickly self‑blame creeps in, even when you’ve worked so hard on self‑acceptance.
But the truth is simple: it is not anyone else’s business what I wear, how I look, or how happy I am in my own skin.
My body, my size, my confidence — none of it is an invitation for judgement. What people see online or in person is only a small part of my story, and it’s the part I choose to share. That doesn’t mean I’m “asking for it,” and it certainly doesn’t give anyone permission to tear me down.
I’ve struggled with my weight throughout my adult life. I live with chronic health conditions that make losing weight difficult and affect me daily. I’m on a health journey — quietly, privately, and at my own pace. I shouldn’t have to explain that, but here we are.
Despite everything, I’m embracing my true self more each day. I refuse to let cruelty dim my smile or stop me wearing bright colours that make me feel alive. I won’t shrink myself to make strangers more comfortable.
So here’s what I’m choosing instead: for every negative comment I hear or receive, I’m paying it back in kindness. Not because they deserve it, but because the world needs more of it. And because choosing kindness reminds me of who I am — not who they say I am.
If you’ve ever felt judged, stared at, or spoken to in a way that made you question yourself, please know this: you are not the problem. Your joy, your confidence, your body, your presence — none of it is an invitation for cruelty.
Keep showing up as yourself. Keep wearing what makes you feel good. Keep smiling if you want to.
Kindness is louder than their comments. And I’m choosing to live loudly.
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